I'm Sold

I am now going to convert my laptop at home to Linspire. It is the world's easiest Linux Deskop system. I have been playing around with it more and more at work and I am sold. Not only is it an inexpensive OS, but it has pretty much everything that you would need for every day home use.

Let's look at some of the features that are listed from the website-

Experience tabbed-browsing	Advanced & Secure Internet Suite Email, Internet, instant messaging, and more! The Linspire Internet Suite includes one of the most advanced, secure and easy-to-use Internet browsers available for desktop and laptop computers. Features include tabbed web browsing, Hot Words, in-line spell checking, and pop-up ad blocking. And Linspire is compatible with QuickTime, Windows media, Flash, and Java and more!
OpenOffice in Action	Complete Office Suite Linspire comes with a complete office suite for word processing, spreadsheets, drawings and slide presentations. And all the programs are file-compatible with their Microsoft Office counterparts (.doc, .xls and .ppt), so you can easily read and share documents with people using Microsoft Windows.
Chat with Friends	Instant Messaging Multi-platform Instant Messenger lets you communicate simultaneously on multiple IM accounts - AOL Instant Messenger, MSN, Yahoo!, Messenger, ICQ, and more!
Listen to your favorite music	Digital Music Download and manage your favorite tunes with Lsongs, an all-in-one music manager built into Linspire. Burn and rip your favorite music. Organize it, play it, and sync it to portable music players. You can also purchase music free of any digital rights management (DRM) directly from MP3Tunes for just 88 cents a song or $8.88 for a full album!
Touch up family pictures	Digital Photos Lphoto is a pre-installed photo managment program that allows you to download, organize, edit, and share your entire photo collection. Easily connect your digital camera to your computer and import all of your pictures with a single mouse-click. You can even create animated slide shows and burn albums to CD or video CD (VCD)!
	Advanced Wireless Capability Linspire supports the latest WiFi networking technology (802.11 B/G). Customizable network profiles and a WiFi access point locator let you effortlessly shift between office, home, and other networks.
	Plug and Play Ready Connect digital cameras, scanners, MP3 players and more. Linspire instantly recognizes USB and Firewire devices.
	Web Publishing Tools Linspire includes Nvu, a powerful, easy-to-use web design program that is the open-source equivalent to Microsoft FrontPage and Macromedia Dreamweaver. Nvu makes creating, managing, and updating web sites a snap. Now, anyone can create web pages, even those with no technical expertise or knowledge of HTML.
	Multimedia Tutorials Linspire now has an expanded multimedia tutorial player that will get even the most novice computer user performing a wide range of computing tasks. The "How-To" tutorials cover everything from simple desktop navigation, to setting up a wireless Internet connection. Try it yourself and see!

I don't know what else anyone woud need. Why not say goodbye to Windows? I know that I am.

Up Yours

I went to the doctor today and he said that it sounds like we are making some progress but he said that instead of me taking my regular dosage of 10mg of Lexapro he wants me to up it to 20mg to see if it takes us to where we want to be. I just hope that it doesn't just double what I have been feeling. If it does, then I'll be twice as tired, twice as moody...or maybe I'll get lucky and it'll do the trick. Who knows. I guess tonight will be the first night of giving it a shot.

You're Fired

Thankfully I'm not. I just had that in my head because of watching The Apprentice tonight. The Donald is the man. He knows what he wants and he gets the job done.

So I feel like I have to go at this Linux thing slowly. There is so much that can be done, but with as little knowledge as I have it is a long journey.

I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning. I am anxious to see if I'm making any progress or not. Sometimes I feel like I am. My wife says I'm better than I was, but I still feel like I've seen better days. I don't know if I'll get my dosage of meds upped or if I'll get put on something else. If I do get switched I hope I don't go through all the same hell all over again.

I also signed up with AdSense here on Blogger. I am hoping to make some money if anyone else decides to look at my blog and click on any of the advertisers.

I'll have to write more when my head is clearer.

Bringin' Home The Bling

Not really, but I did have this idea to start scouring the various Goodwills and Salvation Armys around town looking for anything valuable that people may have thrown out on accident. If I can then buy the items from them and then resell them on EBay, then maybe the Benjamin's will start heading my way.

My idea is to look for either t-shirts with strange logos or sayings, fine china/things like that, or old records that might be worth something.

Why am I doing this, you might ask...Because I'm an entrapeneaur (sp?)? NO. I don't know the first thing about trying to make money by starting a business. I just don't know what else to do. No one has responded to any of the job applications that I have put in for a part-timer.

I tried Staples, Menards, Subway, a video store...it just seems like they are more interested in hiring high school kids. I guess they could probably afford to pay them less. I don't want to get desperate enough to have to start stripping again...trust me, nobody wants to see that happen. Instead of making money, I'd probably have to pay rent for my pole. (this is the part where my wife reads this and makes that face of disgust because of my "dirty-gross" humor that she doesn't really think is as humourous as I do)

Have fun friends. I'm off to the Thrift Shops...

Hmmmm

I have some downtime right now because my weekly virus scan is running on my Windows machine. I know that it will now be pretty much "unavailable" now for then next hour or so. At work we use Symantec AntiVirus, but at home I far prefer to use AVG. It just runs faster and better.

So, I was thinking earlier about writing something short. Writing a fight scene for a book. Let's give it a little try.

They had been staring each other down for a good ten minutes. They both had their eyes on the same chick who was dancing with her friends over on the other side of the bar. They both had that look in their eyes; the look that said that if the other guy didn't move soon then it would be their shot.

Dale stood up first and made his way over to the cluster of ladies. Hector reacted by making his way over there too. They knew what was going on. They knew that this was probably going to be a fight to the death. Everyone who saw what was going on quickly got out of their way. People stopped talking and the music stopped.

"Who the hell do you think you are coming into my place like this?" Dale snapped at Hector. Hector stopped, quickly reached into his inner suit jacket pocket and pulled out three recently sharpened chineese throwing stars. He whipped them at his opponent sinking all three of them into his chest. Dale dropped like a rock. As he lay bleeding on the floor the crowd gasped and started screaming.

Hector then stepped up to the female objective and said, "The police will be here soon, what do you say we get out of here before it's too late?" In a deep scratchy voice she replied "Sure thing baby, just let me hit the little boy's room first."

OK, so I admit that it really wasn't all that great...but I'm sure something like that could have happened at some point somewhere.

In the land of the blind... it must be paradise

I had to go to Wal-Mart last night after work to pick up some stuff on the way home. I don't know if it is just me, but I have found that no matter where in the world I go to this place, no matter what side of town, that I always end up seeing some of the stragest people there.

I like to think that I am just an average guy. I don't dress flashy, I don't like to spend a lot of money, and I like to just kind of mind my own business when I shop. In fact, I really hate shopping. I would rather do something else. But back to the normal guy thing...I am just a normal guy so I would like to think that perhaps I just kind of go unnoticed in an establishment such as this. But what I have begun to notice are not so much the weird-o's that I see in Wal-Mart as much as the people who don't look like they belong there. I mean, they drive a BMW, have clothes on that they didn't buy there...etc, they just don't look like they belong. They have nice looking skin, their hair is well kept, they smell of decent cologne/perfume...you just have to wonder what they are going at Wal-Mart.

I guess they start to stick out to me now because of all of the rest of the people that I see in there all of the time. Most of them look like they just got out of bed. Most of them look like they might even have a spot for themselves picked out to sleep in over in the sporting good and camping supplies area. These people literally spend hours at the store and these families will actually 2-way phone radio each other while they are shopping.

I really wish that I didn't have to shop there, but I guess I go there for the same reason that everyone else does- the price.

I say shop if you must, but please for the love of sanity don't spend too much time there. It will ultimately somehow alter you genetically.

Hand me my bucket please

If this isn't one of the sickest pictures that you've ever seen...then I just don't know what to tell you.

I really just have no words. The irony though is...- Well, there is no irony; it is just plain wrong no matter how you look at it.

Here's a shot of Yoper

For all you geeks out there, here is a screenshot of my new desktop settings with Yoper. Isn't it so clean looking and nice?

I will have to say that overall this system runs so much smoother and faster than Windblows ever will.

My New System

I don't know about anyone else reading this blog [which isn't that many people] but I am tired of Microsoft. I am tired of how they get their fingers into just about everything that there is. They charge a lot of money for their products, support, and time. So I have decided to stick it to the man.

Company policy dictates that I use Microsoft Windows XP SP2 for my main operating system on my production machine, but I am currently typing this on one of my test machines. I didn't want to have Microsoft products on it so I installed the current version of a Linux variant OS called Yoper. The browser is Mozilla and overall, the speed performance far outweighs Microsoft.

I have to say that I am a complete newbie at Linux though. I have a lot to learn. Linux is based on Unix and I don't really know much about that either.

I need to learn how the directory structure works, how to compile things, how to install things. There is so much to learn. It is like stepping into a whole new world...but I'm ready for it. I am ready to take the plunge and stick it to Bill Gates as much as I can.

For more information on Yoper click here.

Doubting Thomas

I received a very welcome call from an old friend tonight. He and I go back to Jr. High School. Well, we actually go even farther back then that but we were too young to really remember. In Jr. High and High School we were pretty much best friends. I believe that we are still good friends, but we have just slipped away from each other for a while. We went through a lot together and on our own, but we were always there for each other...even at times when we didn't like each other so much, which wasn't very often.

It has been about a year or so since I had last seen him. Even then it had been several years since we had met up before that.

In our conversation tonight he revealed to me that he was going through one of those times where he is asking a lot of questions about spiritual things. What do I really believe? Why? Who is God? Who am I? How does all of this fit? Do I believe what I do because it is what I have come to believe, or just because that is all I have from what was given to me growing up? These are all valid questions that anyone with any gut-level honesty asks at one point or another.

We grew up Baptist; the hard line Independent kind.

Now that he has these questions he is reaching out to others to try and find answers. Some are satisfying, others come back as just telling him that he's crazy. I guess I too would have gotten the same kind of answers in my journey but I kept the questions mostly to myself. I feel for him because he and I both know that he/we are not crazy; we just have honest questions that demand honest answers and not just something regurgitated by someone else.

Thomas is so often criticized for his time of doubt. To me he is a hero. When they told him that Jesus had risen from the dead I'm sure that his authentic reaction was "You're full of shit!"Well, that's at least how I interpret his reaction of "I will not believe until I see the holes in his wrists and put my hand in his side."

Did the others criticize him? Not from what I can see in the Gospels. I see them as being the same doubters that he was; yet they were all looking for hope.

Now, obviously we don't all have the opportunity to see the same proof that Thomas did, but does that lessen our need for something other than what is told to us? I don't think so. I think that we all have our own "unless I....." It's not even that we doubt the basics as much as we just question the details.

I have been on this journey of faith for about 12 years now and I still have some days that are better than others; so to me, Thomas is still a hero in my book. In the end, his questions only made him stronger. After all, what is this thing called faith if is ever completely satisfied?

If Tom were still alive today I'd have him teach my Sunday School class. I'd hang out with him as much as I could.

So to all you doubters out there, keep searching and you will find....something. I don't know what that is and you may have no idea either; but when it comes, I imagine we'll all know somehow.

The Pink Panther

I watched the new Pink Panther movie with Steve Martin last night. I would certainly recommend it to any Pink Panther fan. It remained fairly true to the original, though I think that the makers of this one took some extra liberties with Cluseau's character. Steve did a great job, but there was still something missing from the way Peter Sellers originally played the part.

It was a good family movie. Very little swearing if any, only one sexually suggestive scene, but even then it was just more the humour of the situation, and the level of violence was very mild slapstick.

All in all I think I would give it a "very good" rating. Check it out!

A mystical journey

It's been a couple of days since I have blogged. That is mostly because I have either been busy or just plain too tired to get motivated enough to sit down and type.

It has been butt cold around here. Yesterday's high was only about 6 degrees. The day before that we were at -9. So because of the cold and the snow and ice I decided to work from home. While I was working from home I watched 2 very interesting documentaries. The first one was from the History Channel called Banned From The Bible. It was about the formation of the common canon of the Bible that we now have, and examining some of the books that didn't make the cut. I think that I had seen portions of the show before but it was nice to watch again.

The show looked at a lot of the writings that ciruculated around the early church that had various things about Jesus, spirituality, history and all sorts of mystical tales. It also talked about the power that Rome had for quite a while and Constantine's commission to form a standard of Christian reading. Hence the formation of the Bible.

There were very strong arguments at that time around what should and should not be included in the Bible. Some of the books were very interesting and are now again available to read on the Internet. But the most intriguing part was just the process. Men wrestled and wrestled with ideas of faith and logic; reason and spirituality. Even when it was "complete" there still wasn't a perfect consensus. Did the events in the Bible really happen? Were they just stories? Which accounts of Jesus' life were the most accurate? Did Paul really write some of that stuff? These were debates that took place more than 300 years after Christ

Then the other show that I watched was a BBC production by a more modern theologian called Who Wrote The Bible. He spent a lot of time investigating the historicity, accuracy, and scholarship of the Biblical writings. He talked to both Jews and Christians alike and found out their understandings of what the Bible is. Is it really the Word of God? Is it just the work of Man? Is it a combination of both?

He explored the historical claims of many of the Old Testament passages. He explored some of the well known surface contradictions found in the texts of both the Old and New Testaments. He talked to all kinds of believers on both sides of the fence to see how their views impacted their lives in a practical way.

His conclusion was that no matter which way you look at things, looking at the Bible from a scholastic perspective was messy. There are problems. People have sought to provide solutions to these problems. Some have been satisfied and some are still searching for answers. Either way it was still messy. So how do we find God? In the mess of our searching. In the mess of our lives.

My conclusion that I have come to is that, as helpful as it is; the Bible is for lack of better words "incomplete." We don't have all of the story. We don't have all of the understanding. There are many out there who would argue differently. The would look at the Bible and claim that it is supposed to be a manual on life; a textbook for the spiritual...the only means in which we can find God. I really wish that I could see things that way, but I am always reminded of something that Jesus told the Pharisees who put themselves under the same cloak- You study the Scriptures because you think that they contain eternal life; but I tell you that they testify of me.

So it seems as though even though they said they saw one thing, Jesus said that they had it all wrong. That was just like Jesus though, he always had an explanation/interpretation that was completely different from what the religious folk expected. He angered the people of God while the outcast were marvelling at his words and acceptance of them.

There are many today called fundamentalists. They take every word in the Bible as something to literall be followed to the letter. My brother in law is a prime example. They observe the Sabbath on Saturday, they still follow the feasts of the Old Testament...and his family has even lately stopped eating pork because it is unclean. Even though they say that they haven't, I wonder if they have lost Jesus in all of it. So much symbol without much good solid substance; but that is just my observation.

Jesus said that all of the law and the prophets were summed up in the commands to love God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. So do either of those get lost in Bible study or theology? I reckon that they do.

While I don't believe that the Bible solidly answers all of life's questions or solves all of theology's problems, I do believe that it settles the fundamental reason for living- doing unto others as we would have them do to us.

An almost lost show

Today over my lunch break I went to my parent's to hang out. I was flipping through the stations on TV and ran across this old classic show. There they were- Boss Hogg, Rosco P. Coltraine, Bo, Luke, and Daisy Duke.

I know that the show by today's standards is really lame. You have a bunch of country bumpkins from Hazzard County wherever who don't seem to do much but have a lot of time on their hands. Uncle Jesse runs a supposed car repair shop but yet he and the kids all live out on a "farm."

Then you've also got the constant cigar smoker Boss Hogg. The guy just lights up wherever he feels like. At one time that was acceptable, but not anymore it seems. And what's up with his white suit? He even wore it after Labour Day if my memory serves me right.

Bo and Luke use their brains and their muscle car which is virtually indestructable. I mean, I have never seen a car that has been able to make such insane jumps look so easy. I know that for the filming that they had to have REALLY loaded down the trunk to keep the car in the air like that. And the suspension on the car had to be absolutely unbelievable.

Daisy is always able to work her womanly charm. No matter where she goes all she has to do is speak real sweet and bat her eyelashes and all the men fall head over heals in love. I had heard at one point that the actress who played her (Catherine Bach) had taken out a really large insurance policy on her legs. Well, times have changed. She isn't quite the skinny little tease that she used to be; but then again, we're talking about Daisy Duke 20 years ago. I guess a lot can happen between now and then.

At any rate, even though the show might not be on par with today's CSI, Law & Order, Cops, or even Walker Texas Ranger they were just some "good 'ole boys, never meanin' no harm."

If it's been a while go back into the archives. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

My Valentines

I am not a real sentimental person, but I want to take some of this space to talk about my true valentines. This is my wife and 2 kids. They are my favourite people in the world.

My son is usually a very happy kid. He is amazing. He loves to laugh and play and just hang out with us. He is also happiest whenever he is being held by someone.

My daughter is so full of energy. She loves to run, play, colour, watch movies. You never know what is going to come out of her mouth. She is so smart too.

But most of all, my wife; who without her, none of us would be who we are. She has sacrificed having a "career" to be an at home mom. She stays with the kids all day and keeps a safe and clean home for us to live in. She is absolutely amazing. We have had our share of difficulties and have been close to divorce a few times, but with each passing day we grow closer together. As different as we are from each other, I know that I couldn't live without her.

She is smart, funny, a wiz with the budget, a wonderful mom, caring, throughtful, artistic, organized...and for having given birth to 2 kids; she's still hot.

I know that we weren't going to do anything for each other for Valentine's Day, but I guess I had to fudge. Baby, this post is for you.

I love you with all my heart Anja.

The time is 15:26

I am here at work. I went out a little earlier today to see what the weather was like. It is 62 degrees. There is a light breeze.

Tomorrow night it is supposed to precipitate and get really cold. If we get rain, sleet, and snow with below freezing temps, then I will probably be working from home on Thursday.

So back to Valentine's day. How many millions of roses will be bought today? How many love songs will be dedicated on the radio tonight on Delilah or John Tesh. I really hate both of those shows.

My wife and I aren't really doing anything for each other today. At least that's what it sounded like from her. I could swear though that when I verified that with her that it sounded like we weren't doing anything.

But aside from the Valentine's cards and flowers and chocolate...one thing is for sure- tonight for many there will be a whole lotta shaggin' going on.

Valentine's Day History

Just a bit of history on this day from www.americancatholic.org

The roots of St. Valentine's Day lie in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated on Feb. 15. For 800 years the Romans had dedicated this day to the god Lupercus. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and would then keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year.

Pope Gelasius I was, understandably, less than thrilled with this custom. So he changed the lottery to have both young men and women draw the names of saints whom they would then emulate for the year (a change that no doubt disappointed a few young men). Instead of Lupercus, the patron of the feast became Valentine. For Roman men, the day continued to be an occasion to seek the affections of women, and it became a tradition to give out handwritten messages of admiration that included Valentine's name.

There was also a conventional belief in Europe during the Middle Ages that birds chose their partners in the middle of February. Thus the day was dedicated to love, and people observed it by writing love letters and sending small gifts to their beloved. Legend has it that Charles, duke of Orleans, sent the first real Valentine card to his wife in 1415, when he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. (He, however, was not beheaded, and died a half-century later of old age.)

And now you know the rest of the story.

We are spinning

Rule #1. Never talk about fight club.

Rule #2. I guess it isn't a good idea to take Tylenol Daytime Flu when you are also taking Lexapro anti-depressants.

I am sitting here at work fighting sleep like it's the plague. Normally I would welcome sleep but not today. I have too much to do. I also have to drive across town for work and I am not so sure I should be on the road in this condition, but I am going to brave it anyways. You see, I have gotten a cold from my wife and daughter. In fact, I think that we're all sick at the Whitehead house.

On my way to work this morning I was listening to a bit from a show on one of the local Christian radio stations called Update Today. They were talking about immigration problems again. More specifically Illegal Immigration. I know that is an important issue, but why do they have to address it on a program that is supposed to be talking about "what's happening in Christianity today."

When the show was over I decided to flip over to my other source of morning spirituality- The Bob and Tom show.

I should get on now to whatever I am getting on to.

I'll be back later.

Finally some sun

It is Sunday at almost 15:30. I noticed a little earlier that we are finally seeing some sunshine, but it is still butt cold outside. I let the dog out and saw the steam coming out of her nose as she paced the front porch.

The kids are asleep. This morning my daughter and I put the finishing touches on her "Balentime's" cards that we are sending out to the family. She's fun to watch make stuff like that. My wife wrote some stuff on them for her and then we gave her the markers and colours to sit back and work her magic.

This morning we had to use some soap on her. We were sitting and watching the new Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit movie. During the flick she piped up and asked "Are those the bad guys?" We said yes. She responded by saying "aaawwwweee damn." She's been saying that a lot lately. She must have heard it on TV or something. Usually the only "swear word" that we allow is only in the context of diarhea when we call it "the shits." That's a family thing though, imported from my wife's side. That's the only time and context that she says it though.

This afternoon my wife and I watched the movie Domino. It was pretty good. It is a longer movie but it keeps you involved as a participant. It was a very different role for Keira Knightly but I think that she did it well.

We skipped out on church this morning. The kids are still kind of sick and we don't want to get anyone else sick. Besides that, my medication had me pretty sleepy for a good share of the morning.

One thing was different this morning though. Usually on the mornings that we skip church, I still peruse the local stations on TV looking for the Sunday morning used car salesman preachers. Sometimes I just like to listen and take note off all the different points of BS that they are feeding to the sheeple. I know, it's kind of sick but like I said; I didn't do it today. Lately I have kind of decided to "remove" myself from listening to or watching the religious media. It seems like when I do drop in I all hear about is either politics or how to get something from God, or how to be more spiritual than anyone else. I used to listen to the Calvary Sattelite Network a lot, but lately I find that all it is are preachers preaching opinions and meandering sermons that don't really go anywhere.

I feel like lately, I believe in God and Jesus and the Bible...but I just wonder how much of what we see today is really real; and what the original intent behind the Christian writings really were. So much has been removed from the picture. Some say that what we have has been divinely preserved by God, some believe that there is more. I guess that either position ultimately boils down to faith.

Anymore, I guess I don't even really call myself a "Christian." I would rather just be known as a follower of Christ. Unfortunately though today the line that separates the two is so difficult to see. I personally think that if Jesus or Paul were to just show up on the scene today that we would crucify them all over again like they did the first time around.

So I guess that begs the question: How seriously do I take my faith. I guess sometimes it is really seriously, but then other times I have to try and separate whether I am taking my faith seriously or taking myself seriously. It is often difficult to discern.

I guess it is kind of like arguing the issue of justice. Some believe that it truly exists. Others believe that there is no such thing; only either forgiveness or revenge. I don't know where I stand, but I also don't feel like I necessarily have to stand anywhere on it.

That's all for now I guess.

Just another day in the hood

Saturday has come and gone.

As usual it was hard to get out of bed this morning. I made it though. Had my cigarette while I thought about the day. I had to help out with the kids in the morning and then I knew that when the kids went down for a nap that I needed to go into town to pick up some wood pellets for my fireplace and drop off a job application to Menards.

While I was in town I decided to drive around and check out other perspective places to work in case they didn't call me back. Staples hasn't called me back yet either. Earlier today I also did an online application for Subway. I hate looking for a job. It seems like part-time jobs are pretty much just for high school and college kids anymore. What is a 27 year old with a full-time job to do? One of the places that I drove past was Big KMart and unfortunately all I could think of was a time when I was a kid where a bunch of Xians decided to boycott them because they were owned by another company who was a big distributor of porn. KMart didn't sell it so I don't see the point, but oh well, I guess everybody's got to do what they feel is right about those things.

While I was in town I also decided to stop in at a tattoo shop to look at one of the artist's portfolio. I knew that I wasn't going to get anything today...or any time soon for that matter. I just don't have the $$$. A couple of months ago I did get a bit added to an existing tat of mine but that is because I had extra from getting paid from a magazine that I occasionally write for. Sometimes you'll find my work in The Wittenburg Door which bills itself as "The world's pretty much only religious satire magazine." I haven't written much lately. Maybe I am just losing my satirical edge.

Anyways, I like tattoos. They are a very unique form of art. I have been thinking about how I would like to have a 1/2 sleeve of something on my right arm. I already have a lion's head on my left peck, and a cross with a heart on it surrounded by flames on my left shoulder.

My wife and I watch that show on TLC called Miami Ink and dream of taking some kind of anniversary trip down to Miami to get inked by one of those guys.

To me, every tattoo shop has smelled the same. There is always that cigarette smell in the air mixed with the kind of soap that they use to disinfect everything. I kind of like it, but it is also annoying. If I had any real artistic ability I would consider becoming a tattoo artist. Maybe when I win the lottery I could quit my job, take some art classes and then become an apprentice. I guess we'll have to start playing first.

Mood-wise, sometimes I feel like I am doing better and other times I feel like I'm still the same. There were times today that I felt a lot of stress and I just wanted to take a really long nap. I am never suicidal, but there are times that my mind just thinks "I would love to just go to sleep and not wake up." But I know how much that would really suck for my wife and kids and the rest of my family so I am at least able to pray that God would give me another day for their sake.

My wife too is struggling with her emotions. She is currently on Zoloft for post pardem depression. The only difference between her depression and mine is that her's in manifested through anger. On top of that she doesn't feel well. She is fighting a cold; yet somehow we are still able to get along without taking anything from each other personally.

Tonight we watched the movie National Treasure. I had forgotten about how it explores some Masonic themes. I am not one of those conspiracy black chopper kind of guys, but it is interesting how much influence the Masons have had on politics in American history. One time I did kind of "look into" the study of what all they did, but it was probably all biased information that I was getting because it was being given by Christian Conspiracy Theorists. Those guys that you hear on The Prophecy Club hosted by Stan Johnson and his crew out of Kansas. They seem to believe just about anything that sounds even remotely suspicious.

I personally am not threatened by the notion of secret societies. Man is so limited in what he can do, no matter how much power he thinks he posesses. In any case, just look at the Tower of Babel; whether it happened exactly the way the Bible says that it did, the point was that man could not succeed in his intents.

I need to stop typing now. I know that it is only 23:00 but I am tired. My medicine is kicking in.

I hope I have something more interesting to talk about tomorrow.

Say hello to my little friend

I wanna talk for a little while about a guy named Chuvie McDervish. He is about 6'9" and weighs 550lbs. He's got long blonde hair on top with it butched and dyed orange around the sides and back; with dark skin with slanted eyes. He talks with an accent that is a cross between Alaskan and Spanish, but it's the highest pitch you've ever heard. He dresses like he just stepped out of 1963. He says that Jimi Hendrix is his favourite musician, but he only has posters of Cheryl Crow and Waylon Jennings up in his dorm room.

This guy can go for weeks on end without eating much of anything, but usually once a month he spends his entire paycheck at Old Country Buffet. I just don't know how he does it.

Right now he is studying neucular biology but dreams of one day being a librarian. His favourite author is either Ernest Hemingway or Saul Bellow, but he loves to sit and read Shakespear and Dilbert.

He's got either a girl or boyfriend, neither one of them is sure. It is a cross-dressing-hermaphoradite. When I say cross dressing, I mean that one day it wears a dress and combat boots and the next day some khakis and a crewneck with a trendy pair of Converse. The point is that they get along pretty well and neither of them has any complaints.

It's not like you don't notice either one of them in a crowd because you really do. Even though you don't say anything with your mouth, the look on your face just cries out "Dear God, what the hell is that?" And then you wonder if you should ask if they need help or just keep walking...after all, the look in their eyes says that they too have their discomforts.

You decide to keep on going, but you know as well as I do that when you get to your dinner party that they'll be the main topic and how sickened you felt for whatever reason.

Most likely you'll go to sleep that night with the image in your mind, only to wake up and wonder how badly you think you need counseling.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe, somewhere in remote Africa or India an American man is spotted wearing a white Armani suit. His hair is cut nicely and he smells of fine aftershave, while his hands look like they've never been out of his pockets; and the natives look on at him they can't help but think the same thing as you did.

Friday after work

Just a quick entry.

On the way home I plan on stopping to get some Chocolate Milk, Donuts, and some Dr. Thunder. Yep, it is the rip-off version of Dr. Pepper, but I actually like it better.

This weekend's entertainment will be watching Series 2 of Family Guy and the soon to be released in the theatre's Domino.

Film @ 11.

One of the greatest movies

I know that by now this movie is old news, but I was just sitting here thinking about how incredibly great it was and still is. It just happens to be my daughter's favourite movie too.

What makes it so great? Is it that it pretty much sums up High School for every generation? I think so. Sure the clothes and music might be different, but I can think of about 10 people that I went to High School with right off hand that this movie made me think about.

Maybe the funniest thing about the movie is that there is a little bit of Napolean in all of us. Ultimately, I think that we are all really geeks down deep inside, but some people it is just more subtle.

I have often debated with myself as to whether or not I really want to go to any of my class reunions. I don't know that I am really all that interested in what everyone else has gone on to do with themselves. It seems like more than anything that they are just opportunities for bragging about accomplishments. But I also suppose that there is a dark side of me that wants to go just so I can see how the "cool" people turned out to just be "normal" geeks like all the rest of us. The football jocks that have now turned into Fundraisers for some company, or the Student Council President that finished college at an Ivy League school who is now working at Starbucks.

On the other hand it will be nice to see all the geeks who actually became something.

It's almost noon on a Friday

So I'm sitting here at work just thinking back on how hard it seems to get up these days. I think that part of it might be my medication. It seems like if I am ever given the chance that I can just close my eyes and go to sleep.

I am sitting here right now listening to this Internet talk show hosted by a church out in San Diego, CA called The Atheist Hour that is put on by a Reformed Baptist Church. I am not sure why I listen to it because it is just a bunch of people sitting around with circular arguments. The Pastor sits and tries to argue why Christianity is right, and the atheists try to show how it is wrong.

Maybe I listen to it out of boredom, or curiosity. There is much that I disagree with from both sides of the argument, but I am sure that in person that the Pastor is a nice guy.

I did get tired of participating at their online forum though because there were just too many people there who felt like their views of the Bible and stuff were the only correct views. I just can't handle that. I don't take myself that seriously anymore.

The website for this is www.unchainedradio.com

You do have to sign up (for free) to listen and participate in the forums.

Al Mohler on Larry King Live talking about Brokeback Mountain

It seems like lately all most of the political Christians want to talk about are the harmful effects of the outside world being gay. They have talk shows, books, editorials, pamphlets and all kinds of things designed at "fighting the battle" to protect the definition of marriage.

Personally I will probably not see the movie Brokeback Mountain but that is primarily because I have only heard that as a movie, it just sucked. [no pun intended] I'm not really a big fan of cowboy movies anyways. But what I am even less of a fan of are the talking heads like D. James Kennedy, Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Al Mohler and the likes that seem to be on this anti-gay trail that they want to make sure that everyone sees them running on.

Don't get me wrong; I am not in favour of same sex marriages or even the gay lifestyle because I know what the Bible has to say about it; but I am also not going to be over in this little holy corner that only sees homosexuality and secular humanism as the only "mortal" sins in the eyes of God.

The Bible has to say much about just about any sin that man could come up with and incidentally it mentions homosexuality far less than other sins such as idolatry, slander, pride, jealousy, greed, etc. But what I find amazing about these guys who feel that it is their Christian responsibility to champion these causes against such activities is that even though we are reading the same Bible (supposedly) I don't see anywhere in it any kind of call to "speak out" on the subject in the way that these guys do.

They keep referring to this "War In America" over the issue. I don't really think that it's as big of a war as they say that it is. I think that I heard somewhere that the actual percentage of gay and lesbian people in America is somewhere between 1-3%. That is such a small number and I don't think that the number has really actually inflated much over the last 100 or so years. I think that it is just that as we evolve socially as a country and more people are trying to attain their rights that the minorities have just become more outspoken about it. But personally I don't feel threatened by it one bit. I think that for the most part the only thing that these people want is their freedom. I don't have to agree with it, but shouldn't they have the same "natural" rights as everyone else? I'm not advocating it, but I do think that it is a fair question.

I know that there are also many out there who would like to argue that if we allow gays to get married then the next thing that will come is beastiality and incest and all that stuff...but again, much of that stuff is already happening and it is only going on with such a small percentage of people. Why? Because the stuff is just plain weird. It only seems to become a bigger issue when the activists take the little things and then blow them up as big as they do.

Laws and protests don't change people's hearts. I'm not advocating that people should be able to do whatever the hell they want to whenever they want...but I do think that perhaps we'd all be better off if we just minded our own business and stop trying to speak on Christ's behalf when he himself didn't even really talk about it.

Another cold gray day

It is another cold and gray day here in middle Iowa. I think the temp outside right now is about 21. The sky is cloudy so there is a dreary atmosphere that covers the city. Snow that started to melt yesterday has now turned into patches of ice on the sidewalk.

This is one of those days where I'd rather just be at home curled up in bed sleeping. But instead I am now here at work doing nothing more than just listening to things that I find online and blogging. Who would have ever thunk that one day each person would have equal access to post their "diary" out on the World Wide Web for all to read? I remember how back in High School I didn't really know anything at all about the Internet. Now I don't know what I'd do without it.

It's my source of news, entertainment, communication, information and just about anything else I need.

I need another job

Yeah, I do.

I have been thinking a lot about the whole concept of God supplying for our needs and the whole "I have been young and now I am old, and I have never seen the righteous forsaken." Well, I don't claim to be righteous, but I know that I've got needs. My family has needs.

It is not that I am trying to say that the Bible is not true in regard to God meeting needs, but what I am questioning are his methods by which that is done. George Mueller just sat at an empty table and thanked God in advance for food and then the doorbell rang and there it was. Many other people I know seem to have prayed for provisions and then God answered back for them to go work more.

I applied at Staples, but I have not heard anything back yet. I had also given thought to working for Menards because I know a thing or two about home improvement stuff. Subway is also accepting applications. I want a job that is going to make me some extra money, but I also want one that isn't going to break my balls and leave me hating it.

Broccoli

I want to just take this opportunity to talk about one of my least favourite vegetables- broccoli. I could probably take up a whole page on this blog going into extreme detail about why I hate this food and what I would rather do than eat it.

Every time my wife makes this for us to eat with supper, we have the same discussion about how no matter how she prepares it, the taste still makes me want to puke.

I've tried it buttered, boiled, in soup, with tons of cheese...etc. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to make myself like the stuff. Somehow I have managed though to make myself even like peas over this small bush. I don't like the smell, the colour, the texture, the gritty little things that get stuck between my teeth. Every time it is put on the table I just want to find a way out of the room. My wife loves it and I am glad. My daughter has a little bit of a tough time with it, but she does better than me...but I think that still runs in my favour though.

I don't know how many more times I need to go over all the ways that I can't bring myself to eat this. Every time I think that my wife and I have come to some kind of an agreement on this, I always find out that I am wrong. She says that I always object to eating vegetables. I always remind her that is simply not true. I eat corn, carrots, beans, peas, lettuce, ketchup, celery, onions, mushrooms...I just hate broccoli; and it's cousin cauliflower. Both of them in my book are grounds for a revolt. I could write songs, books, movies, television series, comic strips, plays and poems about how much I hate those two, and I still wouldn't even be touching the surface.

Look at how many cultures and civilizations in other parts of the world that have survived for so long without having to eat it. They are happy and healthy. Well, I can't guarantee that they are happy, but at least they are eating. Some places can't even grow them because of the climate. I say "why not send all of ours over to them?"

To me "broccoli" sounds like some kind of disease. I went to the doctor, he ran some tests, and they determined that I have terminal broccoli. Or, I have had this strange fungus on my foot for a month now and I think I have a bad case of broccoli foot. Or if that isn't bad enough, how about it being the name of a torture chamber somewhere in Italy for people that have committed horrible crimes? That's it buddy, you've had your chance- We're sending you to Broccoli.

Maybe I am just a rare case with this; who knows. All I know is I want to keep it off of my plate.

Devil's Playground

Last night my wife and I watched this documentary. It is called Devil's Playground. It is the following of the Amish kids when they turn 16 and go on what they call the rumspringa.

During this time, they are free to go out in to the world to explore all that there is. They go to parties, get outside jobs, do drugs, find girlfriends and boyfriends...all the stuff that "regular" people in the world may do. This period lasts for an indefinite amount of time. For some it may only last a few weeks or months. Others it may last for a few years. It is during this time that they are confronted with life outside of the Amish community and then have to make the decision whether or not they will return and join the Amish Church, or stay on the outside which will then result in being shunned by the Amish community.

In the film they follow several teens to see what all they get into. Some of them go back and some of them stay out in the world. The shocking statistic though was that overall, 90% of them will go back into the community to join the church.

The trademark of the church is their separation from the world and worldly things. This even extends to the abstaining of using electricity, driving automobiles, the types of clothing they wear and the roles that are played by the men and women. They still do the horse and carriage thing. The clothing is all hand made. All of the work is done through manual labour. In their eyes, this is the way that they best represent Christ to the rest of the world. Does it work? I don't know, but it seems to be the best path for them.

Supposedly the Amish movement came from a disagreement with another group that they used to be a part of simply over the difference in belief of whether or not infants should be baptized. The main group said yes, the Amish said no and then packed up their stuff and left.

According to the kids that these Amish kids hung out with, apparently the "Amish throw the best parties." One party talked about in the film consisted having over 1500 teens show up for drinking, dancing, and drugs. It was thrown in Ohio and had attendees from as far away as Montana to New York.

Whether or not you like what you see in the film, it is certainly worth seeing.

Mixed Feelings

So tonight my wife and I made a late night rendezvous to Wal-Mart to get some milk, an iron on patch, and a pregnancy test. Yes, that's right- I said an iron on patch.

You see, my wife has been kind of [well, pretty] moody lately. We still think that a lot of it is post pardum issues. She is taking medication for that [uh yeah, pray for the kids. Both mom and dad are popping pills] and we are not sure if it is working. So her other suspicion was that she was pregnant. The test came back negative; and with that came mixed feelings.

On the one hand it was kind of disappointing because I love kids. We want to have a reasonable sized family. We figured we'd start by having 3 kiddos and then see what happened after that. So if she would have been pregnant we wouldn't have been disappointed. And then you all remember the little phrase that Randy Travis made so popular- but on the other hand...

We were also really relieved to find out that we weren't expecting. If we were, then that would mean that by the time she delivered our daughter would be 3 and our son 1. That would be a huge handful for us...Especially having 2 kids in diapers at once. We aren't so much concerned really with keeping a particular span of time betwixt each munchkin, but just the thought of the extra stress right now would have been more than we were ready for. Thank our lucky contraceptives.

It's Monday

Well, it's Monday. I guess the Steelers won the Super Bowl. I watched it yesterday off and on with my Dad. For some reason, he really got into it this year. I have never seen him into football that much. He was even talking "stats" and "spreads" with my brother-in-law yesterday like he knew what he was talking about. How bizarre.

I watched the game just because I like to watch a good football game from time to time. I don't have any favourites. I just like a good game.

It was kind of sad though because we were also having a little "party" for my Grandma before she heads down to Florida for the rest of the winter. She brought a friend from church with her and we had sandwiches and jello and corn. I love jello. It was really frustrating though because my parents don't get to see my kids as often as my wife's parents do. And when they do get to see them I just don't feel like they seem to enjoy it as much.

I mean, Dad was busy with the game. Mom was busy doing her thing...but it was nice that my daughter got to play with my sister's boy. They don't often get to do that and they seemed to have a good time together. It was pretty funny though; yesterday my nephew went down for a nap, and then we put my daughter down too. Our son was already napping, so my wife and I decided to head off for a "quick date" by walking around a new small town that they call a mall by my folk's house. It was good for just the two of us to spend some time together and get some excercise...but when we got back to my parent's we found that our daughter essentially hadn't slept a wink. Thankfully she did OK for the rest of the night though and on the way home, she fell asleep pretty quickly in the van.

She was up pretty early this morning though, I think the first time she got up was around 6:30. We told her to go back to her room and play with her toys until later. So she did...until about 7:15 and then she wanted to get up for the day. Well, I had originally planned on going into work today, but I was pretty slow getting around and after a little while I felt light headed and almost fell over a couple of times so I figured that it would be safest if I worked from home.

So when I really looked at my daughter after she was dressed she looked like she had these pretty good sized bags under her eyes. We asked if she was tired and she said no. [This was around 9 am] So I headed up to my "office" upstairs that my wife was so considerate enough to put together for me for when I work from home, and proceeded to do some work.

The next thing I know it is about 12:15 and my wife comes up and says "you've got to come down for lunch so you can see something funny." So I went down and my daughter was out cold at the table. She had apple sauce and yogurt on her face on top of that. Apparently since about 10:30 this morning she had been asking my wife if she could go to bed. I just thought that was pretty comical. She is usually pretty energetic, but I guess yesterday wore her out.

So I suppose that was probably the best part of yesterday; her getting to play with her cousin. Other than that, I just felt like we went to my folk's and did nothing. I feel like it is different if we go to my wife's folks and do nothing, because I feel like even if we're doing nothing we are still doing something; like talking or playing a game or resting...the kids get attention and we get a break. Not so with my family.

So maybe we could have stayed home, or just gone home after Grandma's gig was done, but I guess it was good for the kids, and that's all that really mattered in the end.

But for today, I am "working" from home- well, I haven't really done much of anything since there hasn't been much to do. The Mrs. and I have had some good time together today though. That is one thing that I do like about being around here and not at work.

Tonight my daughter and I are going to finish making some cookies together. She just loves to help out in the kitchen...and I love her helping.

The things that the medical field are able to do today

Check this out.

This is the story of a woman who has received the world's first face transplant. The long and the short of it is that she passed out from an overdose and her dog started to eat her.

See her picture and story here.

Why I Love The Internet

It's because of pictures like this-

Ah, Friday

So, I'm feeling a lot better today. Last night was really rough because at several points I just wanted to melt down and die. I was so irritable and I just wanted to jump out of my skin. But today seems to be going a lot better.

So, with this weekend being here, that means that I don't have to do any work. No working from home...just relaxing and playing with the kids. Maybe the mrs and I will watch a movie or two and have the neighbor over. Who knows.

I like these better days.

Do you ever wonder...

I saw a picture of this guy out on the web today and I just had to ask myself "how much shampoo does that guy go through in a week?"

You've got to feel bad for him though. I mean, we're all here just staring at him and wondering all sorts of things.

Hmmm..

I don't know why I thought this seemed so funny.

I do know why I thought this one was.

This is how I feel

I have no idea who this dude is in the picture on the left, but i think that it paints a pretty decent picture of how I have felt today. Thankfully today was a lot easier in dealing with my new medication. I took it with food last night so I didn't have any nausea and I guess my diet was OK because I didn't have an upset stomach.

I am really struggling here at work though. Even though I feel like I got a decent night's sleep last night, I feel very drowsy today.

I am thankful for all the encouraging email that I have gotten from folks who have read this. It is nice to know that I'm not alone.