Christmasickness
Things in the Whitehead house have kind of sucked the last 2 days. My daughter has been sick. She has had a temperature that has been hovering between 99-104, and it just seems to be very inconsistent. We are taking her to the doctor tomorrow to find out if it is pneumonia or not. She is a very poor kid. When she was younger, she got shingles and toughed it out very well. She has taken this sickness pretty well too. She certainly has the heart of a child- full of wild ambition, energy, drive to keep going....But most of all a sense of need for me as her daddy.
Last night we had a lot of cuddle time together. She didn't feel well and she got the point where all she wanted to do was just sit in my lap on the couch and cuddle. I held her and she frequently fell asleep. She was just burning up and felt like crap but there was just something comforting about being held by daddy. Mommy could only take her so far.
The thing that killed me was that I couldn't do anything for her. All I could do is hold her and occasionally give her some medicine. I got worn out taking care of her. I got very little sleep and was starting to feel quite sick myself. Even though I love her very much and am committed to doing whatever I can to make life as well for her as possible, there are limits to what I can give and take. Unfortunately, at times I found myself becoming very short tempered and I didn't feel like I could keep going to help her. I hated that feeling. All I could think of was- Thank God that he isn't so selfish with me.
I prayed for her and asked that God would drive the sickness away so that she could be restored to full health. So far, I haven't really seen an ultimate answer to that prayer. Why? Could it be that she just needed time with Daddy? Could it be that there are times in life where God chooses not to heal someone because that is his avenue of bringing them back to him? I have to confess that to us going through it, it sure seems like a pretty shitty method of getting the job done, but I reckon that he knows what he is doing.
Perhaps the ultimate healing is just the knowledge that Daddy is there? I don't know. I do know though that no matter how bad she felt, she seemed to find comfort in my lap or me lying next to her in bed. That brought joy to my heart that she trusted in me to get her through. What a parable. What a lesson for such a stubborn, selfish, self-centered, instant gratification needing S.O.B. like myself.
I really do hope that she gets better soon, but I enjoy my time with her in the mean time.
We seem to always have some kind of sickness at Christmas time. That doesn't really bother me though since Christmas isn't that big of a deal for me, but I hate how it affects everyone else.
God help us. We need you.
Last night we had a lot of cuddle time together. She didn't feel well and she got the point where all she wanted to do was just sit in my lap on the couch and cuddle. I held her and she frequently fell asleep. She was just burning up and felt like crap but there was just something comforting about being held by daddy. Mommy could only take her so far.
The thing that killed me was that I couldn't do anything for her. All I could do is hold her and occasionally give her some medicine. I got worn out taking care of her. I got very little sleep and was starting to feel quite sick myself. Even though I love her very much and am committed to doing whatever I can to make life as well for her as possible, there are limits to what I can give and take. Unfortunately, at times I found myself becoming very short tempered and I didn't feel like I could keep going to help her. I hated that feeling. All I could think of was- Thank God that he isn't so selfish with me.
I prayed for her and asked that God would drive the sickness away so that she could be restored to full health. So far, I haven't really seen an ultimate answer to that prayer. Why? Could it be that she just needed time with Daddy? Could it be that there are times in life where God chooses not to heal someone because that is his avenue of bringing them back to him? I have to confess that to us going through it, it sure seems like a pretty shitty method of getting the job done, but I reckon that he knows what he is doing.
Perhaps the ultimate healing is just the knowledge that Daddy is there? I don't know. I do know though that no matter how bad she felt, she seemed to find comfort in my lap or me lying next to her in bed. That brought joy to my heart that she trusted in me to get her through. What a parable. What a lesson for such a stubborn, selfish, self-centered, instant gratification needing S.O.B. like myself.
I really do hope that she gets better soon, but I enjoy my time with her in the mean time.
We seem to always have some kind of sickness at Christmas time. That doesn't really bother me though since Christmas isn't that big of a deal for me, but I hate how it affects everyone else.
God help us. We need you.
posted by The Raging Paradoxidation at
23:15
1 Comments:
Chris,
Sorry to hear that Keilan is sick ( if I misspelled her name, then I probably deserve to be shot). I agree man. It sometimes seems that God uses methods too exterme to get my attention. But then I realize that I have the attention span of a walnut, so I thank God that He is willing to meet me exactly where I Sit, fetal position and all. I will pray for Keilan and the whole lot of you.
ps.
Maybe we should hold off on those beers. God has taught me enough this week.
pss.
Call me. I lost your digits.
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