Random Birthday Thoughts

9/11. Today is my 28^th birthday and it has been just like every other day, except for all of the additional Twin Towers propaganda that has been all over the news for the last week. I’m tired of it. As tragic of an event that it was, I believe that it is time that we as a nation move on and stop coddling the psychotic nurturing of all of the immature feelings and emotions that we are still holding on to from what happened that day. Enough said about that though.

Another year has passed and in so many ways I feel differently the same. I’m closer to 30 but I feel like my taste in music is still pretty much the same as it was last year. My kids are also getting older with me as well as my wife.

Although I don’t think that it’s a huge problem for me, it seems like all of us have a certain desire in ourselves to not want to get older. Perhaps differences in age can be social barriers. Perhaps sometimes they are appropriate barriers. Like when I drive past a High School and see some girl whose pretty good looking; even though my being married is deterrence enough, it seems like it’s deeper when I stop and think that I’m probably 10 years older than the chick in the mini-skirt whose father is probably just as protective of her as I am of my daughter.

Things seem to sink in more and more each year. I work a full time job and have for the last 6 years. I’ve been married now for almost 6 years. I have 2 children and probably a 10 year High School class reunion that might happen this next summer. I pay property taxes and chose not to get into fights because failure to comply with the “big people” laws can land someone in an iron cell.

I suppose that also with age comes a certain amount of acquiring of knowledge that also breeds grief. The longer I have studied God and studied men who have studied God, the less He/She/It makes sense to me. When I was a kid I just wanted to be a pro skateboarder. Now I just want to be a good dad and husband.

No matter where someone is in life there are certainly decisions to be made that will affect everything else. For instance, I work with a guy who just spent 10 days with his wife at the Grand Canyon doing all of the things that are offered there. Today was his first day back at work and he said that if it wasn’t for his kids and grandkids that he and his wife very well might not have returned. He said that it was one of those truly “life changing” experiences where you forget about the world and all of the BS pressures that it tries to force. Time away from cell phones, TVs, radios, and anything else that resembles modern life. He said that in 2 weeks time that their desires of building a new house have disappeared in the finer pursuit of just living a simpler life. He said that probably the reverse would happen and that they’d move into a smaller house and get rid of all the extra crap that they really don’t need. I say Amen to that.

So today is my birthday and it has been different than all the others, but I’m just not quite sure how. For some reason, while I greatly appreciate and love all of my family and friends who wish me well, there is still a part of me that just doesn’t want to answer the phone tonight. I don’t need the songs. I only want 2 things- the tools to do my job and a safe place to live.

Don’t buy into the lie that everyone and everything is trying to sell. There is no money. There is no happiness. There is no greater dream out there. The only things that are real are life and contentment. Sometimes it takes work to get to the contented stage, but don’t buy the lie that says that there’s more to be had. It could all be gone tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to me? No. I just want my wife and kids and a place to live and all will be well tonight.